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Middleborns like relationships to be smooth; lastborns like fun. To build a thriving marriage, middleborns need to blend their social interests with activities the lastborn thinks are fun.Lastborns must back off from always being in the spotlight and allow the middleborn to shine.With the spotlight of parental expectations on you, is it any wonder you’re a perfectionist?Firstborns are well-organized list makers and leaders with lots of practice.That means you must work hard to make your spouse feel special, build up self-worth and show mutual respect. Jot notes about important happenings when you’re away from each other and use them as discussion starters for your meals together.Provide plenty of space for outside friendships, but don’t forget the most important relationship — the two of you.Stuck in the middle, you learned how to negotiate peace between warring siblings. If you are a lastborn, you grew up as the apple of your parents’ eye. They’re affectionate, engaging and act impulsively. They love to be the center of attention, and “Surprise” is their middle name. Marriage is a partnership, not a “Doing it my way” song. Say a simple thank you instead of “improving” on what your mate says and does. Middleborns tend to avoid conflict, yet they’re good compromisers.

To reduce tension and increase harmony, define your roles. If you’re the firstborn, let flaws go or gently suggest how to correct them. Would the world really end if a speck of lint resided on your mate’s clothing?If you’re the lastborn, give your mate attention and strokes, even if he or she appears confident and in control.Make sure you run everything by your “detailed” husband or wife before scheduling it.Because middleborns take the path of least resistance, lastborns need to say, “I’d love your opinion on this.” Above all, work on making sure the other person feels pampered and special.Like otters in a stream, youngest children like to play, but life requires some structure, detail and attention to the mundane, such as paying bills.

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