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“People will say things like ‘I didn’t know there were black polygamists! And make no mistake: At least on paper, most Americans are against it.
While attitudes toward polygamy have changed—a recent Gallup poll revealed an approval rating that has more than doubled since the turn of the century—84 percent of Americans still say they find polygamy morally objectionable.
Dimitri’s an ontological architect who builds robots, drives race cars and trucks, and loves his wife and children more than anything in the world. Recently, they’ve opened themselves up to even more criticism (and possibly more heartache) by taking their search to reality TV, where they’re one of the starring families on TLC’s show Aside from the question of why—which Ashley and Dimitri have answered when asked ad nauseam by everyone from their parents to random Instagram followers—their rise in visibility has brought another consideration to the fore: They’re the first black couple to be featured on a national television series about polygamy.
He loves them so much, in fact, that he’d like another set just like them. And, according to many of us, “Black folks just don’t do that.”“Oh yes, we’ve definitely heard that a lot since the show started,” laughs Ashley. It’s been practiced around the world for thousands of years in many cultures, including some in Africa, and plenty of black people in America practice it as well.”ndeed, polygamy is a practice as old as humankind and one that continues in various forms across cultures on every continent, even in places like the United States, where most people purport to be against it.
I would have gone from being his date to being his Black culture concierge. But I wasn’t drunk enough to forgive or forget his ignorant and annoying perspectives.
This was just one of the sobering experiences that made me realize that as a Black woman, Tinder had all the same issues I face walking through the world, just on a smaller screen.
I didn’t find my next partner on Tinder but I’m still hopeful that somewhere in the real world, my next match awaits.
From my experience, being a Black woman on Tinder means that with each swipe I’m more likely to encounter veiled and overt displays of anti-blackness and misogyny.“Online dating dehumanizes me and other people of colour,” Roderique concluded.
As I waited for my Tinder date to arrive, I got deeper and deeper into his social media.
Sitting at the bar of a dimly-lit Toronto restaurant, I swiped through his Facebook photos to see a) if any of his girlfriends had mysteriously died or vanished à la Joe Goldberg or b) if any of them were Black.
In other online dating experiences, my blackness was reduced to a pickup line.
One match’s greeting was simply “BLM.” I wondered, had the acronym for Black Lives Matter already been coopted? Even when the interactions were funny like this one, after a while, it was draining that every right swipe turned into a dead end.