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The husband’s compliments are sweet, and the mom’s presents are thoughtful, but because the intended recipient doesn’t send and receive love in the same primary way, the gestures fall flat.

Chapman’s book identifies five primary ways we express love.

This love language is based in the nitty-gritty routines of daily life.

Making beds, changing diapers, taking out the trash — they’re not the glamorous gestures of romantic love, but for the person whose primary language is Acts of Service, they’re the bedrock of committed, mature love.

Here’s what the five languages look like in practice: These are compliments and words of appreciation and encouragement directed at the other person.

Chapman calls gifts “visual symbols of love,” and he emphasizes that the monetary value of the present is rarely an issue.

You can buy, find, or make something for your loved one; it’s the thoughtfulness, and the intention behind the gesture, that means the most.

Of course, if receiving gifts means little to you, it may be difficult for you to shower another person with presents.

But Chapman reminds us that speaking a partner’s love language is an act of — what else?

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Words of Affirmation (To be verbally acknowledged) 2. Physical Touch (To be in contact via the body) For anyone who has had a “lost in translation” moment when it comes to love, the concept is almost instantly clarifying.

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